In which “Clem” gets very excited By Mutual Consent

We’ve produced another fanzine, By Mutual Consent on sale outside Portman Road tomorrow – and were hoping for some national publicity. Looks like Gavin Barber‘s found some…

PLUS HERE’S A COLLECTOR’S ITEM FOR YOU TO DOWNLOAD: A FREE CUT-OUT-AND-KEEP MARK “CLEM” CLEMMIT HORROR MASK!

Clem mask

With a new fanzine, By Mutual Consent, set to hit the streets of Ipswich on Saturday, we asked top reporter and friend of the stars, Mark “Clem” Clemmit from the Football League Show, to find out more by talking to its creators. Here’s his exclusive report…

CLEM: “Well today I’m here in IPSWICH, and as you’ll have noticed I’ve SHOUTED the name of the place that I’m in, as I always seem to do, as though the very existence of towns other than the one I come from is a constant source of surprise to both me and the viewers. I’m here to talk to the people behind a brand new fanzine, By Mutual Consent, which will be on sale prior to Saturday’s home game against LEEDS (look, I did it again).

“And here they are – the By Mutual Consent team! Guys! Guys! Hey, over here! It’s me! Great to see you again! It’s been too long! How are you?”

BY MUTUAL CONSENT: “We’ve never met before”.

CLEM: “Ha! Such jokers you guys! Listen, tell me about this new fanzine, while I lean too far into the lens like a man still trying to figure out how the camera works”.

BMC: “It’s a new Ipswich fanzine which has been put together by the same people who previously brought out Turnstile Blues earlier this season. The title comes from the fact that so many players (and one manager) have left Ipswich apparently “by mutual consent” over the last couple of seasons. And also because the theme of the fanzine is ownership and stakeholding – whose club is it anyway? That sort of thing. Sorry, am I confusing you?”

CLEM [looking blank]: “So you say it’s a fanzine, and it’s about Ipswich?”

BMC: “Yes, it’s very much an Ipswich fanzine. Do you need me to draw a diagram?”

CLEM: “Ha ha! Always messing around, you guys!”

BMC: “Look, is there any chance you could stand just a bit further away? This is starting to feel like some kind of nightmarish version of The BFG.”

CLEM [moving closer]: “Well listen, I’ve known you guys a long time…”

BMC: “I’m quite sure we’ve never met”

CLEM: “…and I know you’ll have put simply loads of stuff into this fanzine. What stuff? Tell me more about the stuff that’s in the fanzine. What stuff have you got in there?”

BMC: “Do you mean content?”

CLEM: “Yeah! Content and stuff”

BMC: “Uh, OK. Well there are some articles that Ipswich fans will hopefully find entertaining and funny. We’ve got some spoof adverts which link to the title of the fanzine, and also a few other satirical and – let’s be honest – fairly silly things in there which we hope will be amusing. We’ve also got some in-depth writing on subjects linked to the overall theme of the fanzine – the ownership of Ipswich Town, the relationship between the football club and the official supporters’ club, and some perspectives from elsewhere, including Wimbledon and Greece”.

CLEM: “Wimbledon isn’t in Greece”.

BMC: “Wimbledon AND Greece. Not Wimbledon in Greece”.

CLEM: “Oh man. You crack me up you guys. So listen, where can the fans of Ipswich get hold of this Ipswich fanzine?”

BMC: “It’ll be on sale around the ground from around 2pm on Saturday – you’ll find our sellers at the main entrance on Constantine Road as well as by the Sir Alf and Sir Bobby statues. We’ll also be going round a few pubs near the ground. If you can’t make it on Saturday, we’ll make some copies available on eBay shortly afterwards – details will be on the Turnstile Blues website and via the @Turnstile_Blue Twitter feed. We will make an online edition available later in the week, and if anyone downloads that we’d be very grateful for them to make a donation to the LegalWise Soweto Hope Academy in exchange.”

CLEM: “Great stuff. Well listen, best of luck with it, and let’s get together for a beer soon?”

BMC: “Please stop touching me”.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: